


Fair Payment

by DontAtKiwi



Category: Mianite - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, M/M, PWP, Smut, mianite - Freeform, tiem reester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 18:37:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20277937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontAtKiwi/pseuds/DontAtKiwi
Summary: Tom is kicking everyone's ass and the Mianite followers are woefully under-geared. Sonja talks Tucker into offering a different sort of payment to Mianite in exchange for armor and weapons and he agrees because hey, everyone wants to know how big the god's dick is anyway.This is crack and smut. Set in season one.





	Fair Payment

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack ship because a couple of us noticed there were no fics of Mianite and his champion. What a shame! Guess I had to fix that.
> 
> Don't take this seriously.

“Do you think Mianite has a big dick?”

Tucker choked on his beer, snorting it up into his nose and all over the already sticky bar.

“What the fuck?”

Sonja shrugged. “I’m serious, he’s like seven feet tall, he has to be packing.”

Tom downed another shot and leaned across the counter, paying no mind to the spilled drink soaking into his suit jacket.

“For my money he has a tiny dick, like a micropenis. Or a chode, ‘cus he’s a fucking chode.”

“He does not!” Tucker defended.

“You don’t know!” Sonja rebutted, earning a snicker from the drunken zombie across from them. 

“Well what about Dianite then.” Tucker huffed.

“Giant cock.” Sonja and Tom answered simultaneously. 

“Okay fair.”

The nether god only wore a loincloth and regularly floated above them instead of walking. They had all gotten an eyeful once or twice. Tucker was man enough to admit it was impressive, though he wasn’t a fan of the piercing. 

“Do you think he goes to large penis support group?” Came a mellow voice from the couch.

Tom barked out a laugh, and Tucker craned his head from the bar stool to look at Jordan where he was sprawled out on the cushions.

“Sparklez- what?” Sonja said between giggles.

Jordan sat up, nearly sloshing his drink down his front.

He adjusted his skewed sunglasses, “for extremely large penis syndrome. I heard guys with big dicks faint when they get hard.”

“Not like you would know!” Tom crowed, holding his hand up for a high five which Sonja gleefully reciprocated. 

Jordan flushed, draping his arms over the back of the couch and resting his chin there.

“I wouldn’t want one anyway, the cons outweigh the pros.”

Tom scrunched his nose, wrinkling the patchwork zombie skin, “Wha’ do ya mean?”

Jordan gesticulated with his drink hand and this time it did spill a bit over the edge. He cursed softly.

“I mean, it’d be hard to,” he gestured vaguely, forgetting about his drink again, “have sex without hurting your partner. Sounds like a hassle.”

Sonja shrugged again. “It’s not so bad if you go in the back door, Tucker can take way more than m-”

Tucker lunged across the counter, slapping a hand over her mouth.

“Okay no one needs to hear about our business, thank you.”

“Prude.” Tom mocked and Tucker rolled his eyes.

“Not really, just figured Sparklez wouldn’t want to hear it.”

The Ianite champion stretched sleepily from the couch, blinking slowly. “Mm thank you.”

“What were we talking about again?” Tom asked, trying to balance his shot glass on its edge, having gotten distracted from the conversation.

“Large penis support group.” Jordan chimed in unhelpfully.

“No-” Sonja corrected, “-about whether or not Mianite has a big dick.”

Jordan disappeared again as he lay back down, losing interest. Tom’s shot glass rolled off the counter and hit the floor with a chime of shattered glass. He looked at the mess placidly, kicking it under the lip of the cabinets. Out of sight out of mind.

“It’s not like we’re ever going to find out.” Tucker said, brow wrinkling at Tom’s antics but too buzzed and lazy to clean it up.

The zombified Dianitee yawned, “I’d ask him but I’d probably get smited.” 

“Same.” Sonja agreed.

“Like I said,” Tucker reiterated, “we’re never gonna find out.”

\---

It had been a shitty week. Their chill chats in the strip club seemed far away ever since Tom had waged war on all of them. That wasn’t to say that they couldn’t go back to the bar, but Tom would probably stab them on the way out and make off with everything in their pockets so Tucker didn’t bother. He could use with the relaxation though.

He gripped the bill of his hat, shifting it back to the center where it had drifted away. His hair stuck to his forehead in sweaty clumps.

“I need better armor, man. Tom is fucking wrecking us.”

“Have you prayed to Mianite?” Sonja asked, stripping her own worn chestplate and letting down her tangled hair.

Tucker flopped onto the bed and yanked off his boots.

“The last time I asked for stuff he gave me leather. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”

“Die?” Sonja suggested wryly.

“Been there, done that. Twice today actually.”

Sonja hummed sympathetically, patting him on the head as she passed him to get to the chests.

“Maybe you should give him better sacrifices.”

“Why don’t  _ you  _ do it? Tom literally took all my stuff, I don’t have a single diamond to give.”

“Okay he slayed me out too, I don’t have anything either.” She fished a regeneration potion out of her chest and tipped it back, hissing slightly as the gashes on her body stitched themselves closed. 

“Got any more?” Tucker asked, tugging at his gray t-shirt where it had stuck to a cut on his torso in a blood encrusted mess.

“No.” Sonja said, “Besides, I don’t think he likes me, or swings my way.”

“Who?”

“Mianite.”

Tucker stretched, spine popping liberally, “Why is that relevant.”

Sonja gazed about the room before flitting her attention back over, eyebrows waggling, “Well you know. If you don’t have any  _ diamonds  _ to give him, maybe…”

She trailed off, letting him fill in the gaps.

“That’s…” He blinked at her, thrown off guard, “Are you actually suggesting I sleep with Mianite to get good gear.”

“What, like you wouldn’t wanna get a little somethin’ somethin’ from Mianite?”

“No- well, it’s weird!”

“You’ve fooled around with Tom.”

Tucker flushed, rubbing the back of his neck, “Tom’s not my  _ god.” _

“Does it matter? He’s kinda hot, if you’re into the whole zeus aesthetic.”

“That’s besides the point.” He crossed his arms sullenly, feeling the twinge of his wounds with disdain.

Sonja smirked. “You’ve already decided, haven’t you.”

“Shut up I’m desperate okay.”

“Hey look at it this way,” She reassured, sitting next to him on the comforter, “at least we’ll know what Mianite’s dick looks like.”

\---

He had been sitting in the temple so long his back had gone stiff. Twice already he’d had to stand up and pace around, which wasn’t exactly the vibe he was trying to give off. He wanted to appear devoted and well put together, like a champion should be. Not like some impatient asshole who just wanted overpowered enchantments to gut his friends with. 

To be fair he was an asshole who wanted to gut his friends, but he was also a devoted champion. And thus he was sitting in the Mianite temple, having dropped his prayer book into the appropriate chute, and now kneeled waiting on the floor in front of the giant gold throne. 

Most of the time he just ditched his prayer and left, but today he needed a...personal meeting with the deity. 

He was nervous, and had every right to be. If this went south he’d likely get his dick lightninged off. Tucker began to fiddle with the hem of his vest, tugging on a loose thread. If it went well then hey, he’d get bragging rights to something no one in this dimension could top.

The air took on a sudden metallic taste and Tucker felt the hair on his arms and neck stand up. He snapped to attention, straightening his cap and vest and pretending like he didn’t have a massive bloodstain on his shirt.

The god of the overworld appeared before him in a dazzling flash of light and a clap of thunder. He stood tall and regal in front of his throne, looking down on Tucker with glowing white eyes. Mianite was otherworldly. He was impossibly tall and his beard was so perfect and white it looked to be carved of marble. He wore a toga and gold sandals, immaculate and ethereal.

Tucker swallowed heavily.

“My champion.” The deity greeted in a vast voice that echoed around the halls of the temple, “You send me a prayer but no offering. Why have you summoned me?”

“Tom is winning this war, My Lord.” Tucker responded, proud of his voice for not wavering, “We need better armor, better weapons, if we are to succeed and save your sister from Dianite’s clutches.”

The god sat down on his throne, looking Tucker over with a thoughtful gaze. 

“And yet you bring me nothing to make such items with? I cannot simply pull gifts out of nothing. Then how will you learn that reward takes effort. Not everything can be handed to you, Jericho.”

Tucker’s fists clenched where they rested on his thighs. “I know, My Lord. It is true I have no objects of value to give you...but I was hoping…”

Mianite raised a perfect white eyebrow.

Tucker stood on stiff legs, stepping up the quartz stairs to the throne. His brown eyes met Mianite’s blazing white ones as he stood in front of the god. He then watched Mianite’s other eyebrow raise to join the first as he stepped even closer, between the deity’s legs, hands coming to rest atop his thighs.

“Oh?” The god rumbled, and Tucker felt it in his rib cage. 

Tucker pressed his palms firmly against the god’s robes, feeling the heat of his immortal skin beneath. Mianite was very warm, and if were a normal person the heat would probably indicate a high fever. He slid his hands further up the god’s legs, eyes still locked with Mianite’s. Tucker’s eyelids were hooded and he hoped it looked sexy. He was trying to be sexy.

His hands reached the junction at the god’s hips and with no sign to stop he kept going, sliding his right hand inward until it ghosted over his crotch, still covered by billowing ivory toga. 

Mianite hummed, tilting his head and propping his chin on his fist. 

“You’re propositioning me?”

Tucker grinned weakly, “yes.”

Mianite lifted his free hand and brought it to the back of Tucker’s head, large fingers slipping underneath the band of his hat to palm his skull. Mianite was a giant, his hand cupping Tucker’s head like a large grapefruit. The champion’s eyes slipped closed.

“This is what you want to offer? For payment?”

The god ran his other hand down Tucker’s back, to his hips. Tucker leaned into the point of contact.

“Yeah, for payment.”

Originally he had told himself this would be something he’d do just to fuck Tom over. But now, being so close to his god, being touched by him, Tucker found himself really wanting it. He wasn’t really surprised, or ashamed of himself. To be fair it promised an epic lay.

Mianite slipped his hand lower, cupping the back of Tucker’s thigh, before hoisting him up onto the throne, straddling his lap.

Tucker exhaled a shuddering breath, pressing his torso in a hot line against the god’s. Mianite still had his hands on the back of his skull, on his thigh. Tucker felt enveloped in godly warmth, or something equally sappy.

He shrugged off his vest then pulled his shirt over his head by the hem, hat going with it. When Mianite put his hands back on his now bare torso Tucker gasped.

It felt electric, buzzing. Like a redstone current or the faint vibrations of an enchanting table. It felt like magic. Actual magic, thrumming heavily through the god’s skin. Every hair on Tucker’s body stood on end as Mianite ran his hands over his chest and sides. His heart beat wildly in his chest. The lingering cuts on his midsection closed up and vanished, his dried blood with it, as Mianite ran his hands over the planes of Tucker’s body.

“Thank you, My Lord.” he murmured, gratification surging within him.

At an experimental rock of his hips Tucker felt a swelling hardness against his ass. It felt big. He repeated the motion and Mianite’s hand traveled from his ass to the front of his pants. Tucker was getting hard, the brush of Mianite’s fingers against the crotch of his jeans sending a jolt to his cock. The god reached for his zipper and Tucker was unsurprised when he broke it unzipping him. Godly strength, now that might make a few things interesting. 

Tucker shimmied out of his pants with mild difficulty and found himself naked in his god’s lap, every touch of the deity’s hands making his skin jump and twitch like he was being zapped with a live wire.

Mianite’s knuckles brushed his cock and Tucker gasped, chasing the touch. The god chuckled, a sound that reverberated in Tucker’s bones and he pressed himself back against the deity, stretching to slot his face in the crook of his neck. Tucker pressed a wet open mouthed kiss against the hollow of Mianite’s throat and rocked his hips again, smearing precum on the front of his toga. 

Mianite seemed to take that as a sign to move things forward and he unclasped the gold leaf design at his shoulder, sending his robes cascading down his body. The god pulled Tucker to his chest and lifted him at his thighs to stand and let the toga pool onto the floor. As he did so Tucker felt the god’s cock bounce up and hit his stomach. He gripped the deity’s biceps tightly, rutting his own cock against Mianite’s abs, trying to get their dicks to meet.

Mianite was jacked, unsurprisingly, but not in the same way Sparklez was. Jordan was short and compact, his muscles were bulky. Mianite, however, was a giant, perfectly proportioned with chiseled abs and defined pecs. His skin was unblemished, glowing, and his dick-- Tucker tucked his chin and looked down.

“Oh my god,” he whimpered, and if it weren’t for Mianite’s grip on his ass holding him up he would’ve melted.

The god smirked at his exclamation, lowering Tucker back onto his lap, and their cocks brushed.

Tucker groaned, rubbing against him.

Mianite’s dick was huge, like the rest of him, but shorter than Dianite’s. Though Tucker had never seen the nether god erect before, only in brief glances under that stupid loincloth. Mianite’s was thicker though, and uncut, which made sense because who would circumcise a god.

Tucker was glad he had come pre stretched, especially now that he knew what he was dealing with. And even though he didn’t think he needed the extra prep work he didn’t stop Mianite from prodding at his entrance with suddenly slick fingers.

“Lube?” Tucker asked confusedly, not having noticed a container of any sort.

He began to pant as Mainite pushed a finger past the tight ring of muscle.

“Being able to manifest anything is one of the perks of being a god.”

“You’ll summon lube but not armor and weapons to fight Dianite?”

Mianite’s finger stilled inside him

“No payment no items. We can cease your payment if you desire.”

Tucker whimpered in a very dignified manner, rocking his hips back against the stimulation in his ass. 

“Yes payment. I still want to do the payment.”

Mianite crooked his finger and Tucker saw stars.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, squirming anew as Mianite added another finger, easily scissoring him open. “Oh my god, oh god.”

He was a babbling mess already, and Tucker knew it would be hard to look Mianite in the eye after this. How could he be expected to keep a straight face next to his friends when the gods came down to speak with them next. He didn’t know if he’d be able to prevent himself from flushing bright red during formal “My Lord”s when he knew Mianite had seen him naked, strung out, and whining like a bitch on his thick fingers. 

Mianite curled his fingers again and Tucker lost his train of thought, preoccupied between rocking back and forth between the fingers in his ass and the god’s cock against his own.

Mianite had realized that Tucker came prepared, and was also probably impatient himself, so he slipped his fingers free and reached between them to slick his own cock with conjured lubricant. 

“Ready, my champion?”

Tucker nodded fervently, “oh yeah, never been more ready for anything ever.”

“Very well then.”

He grabbed Tucker by the thighs again and lifted, spreading his legs. Tucker felt his muscles protest, because he wasn’t really all that flexible, but the drag of his cock against his god’s radiant body cancelled out what would likely result in soreness the next day.

Mianite spread him and positioned him with sure hands, the head of his dick now pressing against the cleft of Tucker’s ass. He shivered, a thrill running through him as the hot length prodded his entrance. Then Mianite was sliding up into him, pulling Tucker down onto his cock by his thighs that would surely have distinct finger shaped bruises afterwards. Tucker’s head lolled back and he moaned, hips stuttering as Mianite pressed further inside him. It felt better than fingers, and very different from Sonja’s strap on. 

It was the most full and satisfied he had ever been.

Mianite’s cock was a hot searing heat, and Tucker swore he could feel his soul start to sizzle. Would having sex with a god inadvertently smite him? Mianite bottomed out and Tucker realized he didn’t care. What a way to go, right?

Mianite didn’t wait for Tucker to get adjusted to the burning stretch, and instead lifted him right back up and began bouncing him up and down, thoroughly fucking him on his cock at a brutal pace. 

It felt like lightning.

Tucker couldn’t do much more than take it. He gripped onto the god’s shoulders for dear life and let the deity fuck his brains out. He was getting louder, gasping and cursing freely with every perfectly angled thrust. Sweat ran in rivulets down his body. Mianite was unbelievably warm and Tucker was sweltering. He felt like he was being burned up from the inside out.

Mianite adjusted his grip on Tucker’s thighs and pushed them a little wider, grunting as he thrust deeper into his champion.

Pleasure coursed through Tucker like a vicious current and he writhed on top of Mianite’s cock, chest heaving and throwing his head back as he got lost in the sensation. He felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes as Mianite fucked against his prostate again and again, all of it so overwhelming and filling him to bursting with ecstasy. 

His brain felt like it was frying and he couldn’t form a coherent thought, not that it mattered. Mianite fucked him harshly, every slap of mortal against immortal skin rattling his brain and building upon Tucker’s impending orgasm. 

A few more powerful thrusts was all it took and Tucker was cumming untouched, painting the god’s abs with his cum in a silent shout. Mianite’s grip on his thighs tightened, so much so that Tucker squeaked in pain, the tears from earlier finally spilling over and down his cheeks. 

“My Lord-” he stammered, as Mianite buried himself to the hilt, grinding Tucker’s hips down on his cock in shallow tight circles. 

Tucker’s breath hitched and Mianite groaned, so deep and low and Tucker heard it echo about the temple and vibrate in his sternum. He thrust upwards one more time before reaching his own orgasm. His cock pulsed inside Tucker, spilling hot white seed deep inside him. Tucker shuddered, slumping boneless into Mianite’s chest as he loosened his grip and gently moved an arm to the small of Tucker’s back.

“Holy fuck.” Tucker wheezed, as his god delicately lifted him from his softening cock and back atop his thighs. 

“Your payment has been most well received, champion.” Mianite murmured, brushing the sweaty hair from Tucker’s forehead. “Get dressed and I shall summon your items. There is no time to waste when dealing with my brother after all.”

“Huh?”

Tucker was a little frazzled, like a torch left to burn overnight that had smoldered down to its sconce. His brain felt fuzzy and everything sounded distant as if it was underwater. As Mianite set him down on the quartz flooring he jolted, the temperature difference startling him. When the radiant deity ceased all points of contact Tucker found himself feeling cold, his body aching to touch the god of the overworld again.

He also felt grimy and disgusting. Cum was trickling down the back of his legs, which were starting to turn black and blue at Mianite’s rough handling. He also smelled pretty rank, like sex and sweat and everything that comes with it.

Bending down to pick up his shirt and pants caused a twinge in his back and ass to make itself known and Tucker hissed. Mianite hadn’t treated him gently, but it had been a pretty good time regardless. At least for the time being he could prod his bruises and feel the burn of overstretched muscles to remind him of what had happened, and distract him from the urge to do it again. 

Highly enchanted armor and weapons for some of the best sex of his life? That was a pretty good deal.

“For you, my champion.” Mianite offered, dressed again in his pristine toga, holding Tucker’s pack out, stuffed full of god-tier gear. 

Tucker paused in the fastening of his pants, taking the bag of his earned items.

“Thank you My Lord, this was…” he trailed off, feeling the satisfying ache in his backside and the thrum of post orgasm bliss under his skin, “well worth it.”

The god smiled, white beard unrumpled. 

“I’m glad to hear it.”

Then in a crack of thunder and lightning he vanished, off to whatever plane he normally spent his time in, leaving Tucker half nude in the temple. The space felt too big and empty without the god’s presence and so Tucker didn’t waste any more time getting dressed and slinging his bag over his shoulder. 

He limped home a wealthier man, fully intending on doing it again. He could also answer from experience the next time someone asked him how big his god’s dick was.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack ship because a couple of us noticed there were no fics of Mianite and his champion. What a shame! Guess I had to fix that.
> 
> Don't take this seriously.


End file.
